To my sweet little Gavy Pants

My Dear Sweet Funny Little Gavin,

Today was your 5th Birthday and we had such a great weekend together! It's been very hard for mommy to deal with the fact that you are no longer my baby. You have grown so fast and changed so much over the last five years. It seems like just yesterday that Mommy and Daddy found out we were going to have a baby. We were both a little scared and didn't know what to expect. Literally. We had gone to the doctor several times to see you on the Ultrasound. Every time we tried you would no cooperate. You would turn your little bum or squish down really low. We never knew if you were going to be a girl or a boy until you were born. You always keep us guessing, little man. Ever since that day when Daddy placed you in my arms and said "Meet your son!" you have been the light in my life. Every day you find ways to make me laugh, and you surprise me with how much you are learning.

Right now, one of your favorite things to say is "Oh, my muffins!" or "HOLY FRECKLES!" I'm not really sure where on Earth you've head these sayings before but every time you drop a new one on me it makes me giggle. For five years old you are wise above your years when it comes to music. You LOVE Niel Diamond songs.... you pretty much know every word to "Sweet Caroline" and "Young Girl". You also really like the song "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. You love to play the Wii and play games. You're just starting to get the hang of UNO but you REALLY don't like to lose.

I want you to know, Gavin, that you are so special to me and Daddy. We love you so much and are so proud of the little boy you are. While I am so sad that you are growing so quickly, I cannot wait to see the adventures we will get to go through together in years to come. Never forget that we love you and that your Father in Heaven loves you too.

Happy Happy Birthday, Gav!

Love always,

Mommy

The Most Amazing Friends Ever

"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends."

I have been blessed in my life to have three of the most amazing friends anyone could ever ask for. My life would never have been the same without them. They've been there through everything for me and this post is my homage to them. The most amazing friends I've ever had.






Dear James,


I love to think back about the time when you and I first became friends. 7th grade was a really rough year for me when it came to friends. I never really knew who I could trust and at the end of the year was faced with the nightmare that most middle schools fear - I had no friends. The start of 8th grade was terrifying but Heavenly Father sure knew what he was doing when he put us in every single class together. Do you remember that? 8 classes a day and we managed to have every single one together. It took awhile for us to click, and we sure had our fair share of drama! Even through all the drama, Heavenly Father blessed me with the kind of friends that I could count on for years to come. I was telling my young women about the time that me and Jen Sheetz snuck out to toilet paper your house and you came home from work MINUTES after we had finished. We had just got the lights out at my house when the motion sensor lights kicked on outside my house and I spotted you and Adam re-toiletpapering our yard! Ahhh good times! You were always like a brother to me, never afraid to speak up and tell me when I was being an idiot. You always set such an amazing example to me. I didn't have to worry about being "cool." We made being a good kid look cool! We set the trend!


You always have amazed me with your strength. And now that we're adults it amazes me even more. Earlier this year when your sweet mom passed away I was so afraid to call. I didn't know what I could do or say that would be able to ease your pain the way you have been there for me so many times. When I finally did call, I got the same strong upbeat James I've always known. You were there being strong, lifting up those around you who were falling to pieces. I'm sure you took the time to fall apart and mourn as well, but your quiet strength made it so much easier for everyone who loved her so much to say goodbye. It amazed me.


A few weeks ago when Jon and I were preparing to go to the temple for the first time I had so much anxiety. I knew that no one from my family would be able to be there with me and I felt incredibly alone. When I told my husband how I was feeling you were the first person he called. He knew that we could both depend on you to be there, at any costs. You're just like family to us. Your friendship means the world to me, James. You've been there through everything and always an amazing example to me. I hope you know that you can always rely on me and Jon to be there for you and Emily. We love you both so much!


Always,
Kim





Stevo,


When I was sitting down to write this letter to you, I was seriously contemplating just quoting from the random text messages that we've sent back and forth. Then I kind of realized it would make for pretty boring reading to those who don't understand it. I can pretty much sum up our years and years and years of friendship with three little letters.... LOL. We've had soooo much fun and soooo many laughs together over the last 24-25 years (oh my gosh can you even believe that we're getting this old?) As I said to James earlier, the same applies to you. Your friendship came at a time that I needed it the most and it has been a friendship that I know I can rely on for many many years to come. I still have the letter that you wrote to me while you were on your mission, encouraging me to make a good choice when it came to who I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I could always depend on you and James to tell me like it is, especially if I was doing something stupid. I'm so grateful for that.


Now that we're adults it's hard to remember the scrawny little red headed kid with the Zingers but then we run into moments about converting "wasted" (pun intended) energy to power our homes and vehicles and it's so easy to remember all the hilarious times we've had together. Like driving home from Wendy's and having to pull over because we were laughing so hard we couldn't see. Or forgetting all the word's to "Baby It's Cold Outside" and making it up as we went. I think Mr. Scott was a little upset about that one but it created a memory I will never forget!


I love love love the fact that Jon and I can always rely on you and Amanda. When you first came home from your mission you and Jon clicked RIGHT away. Before I could even give you a hug and tell you how proud I was of you, there you were, lying in the bed with my husband. LOL that sounds so wrong. LOL You've always been the guy who will be there with a smile on his face even if you have a zillion and a half other things you would rather be doing. You've ALWAYS been that way. I remember when the same song would come on at the Stake dances you were always RIGHT there. Even though there were probably a zillion other girls you would have rather been dancing with, that was the song meant I would be waiting. And you never let me down! You're still that way. The other day when Jon and I ran into a problem with buying a house I knew I could count on you to pick up the phone and answer all of our questions. When we needed help to scrub walls and paint the house, you were right there. We can't tell you enough how much it means to us.


I want you and Amanda to know that your friendship means so much to us. It's just so easy to be friends with you guys. Life wouldn't be the same without you and I know that we will be friends until we're old and knockin on death's door. We love you!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (That means 'Thank you for being such an amazing friend')
Kim



Cammie Sue,

I'm sure I've told you this a bazillion times but I am so proud to call you my friend. Your life is this perfect example to me of what I should be doing. You're always so humble, so happy, and always so obedient. You're not afraid to be goofy and silly but you have such a strong testimony and it shows in every little thing you do. I love the fact that you are strong enough to be miles and miles and miles away from everything that you know and love to ensure a better life for you and your future posterity. You work so hard for what you want. I just love that about you!


Your friendship has always been special to me as well. As great as the boys have been and how perfect the timing of their friendship was, your timing was perfect as well. You've always set such a great example of what I should be doing. As I said earlier, you made choosing the right "cool." I never felt like I wasn't one of the cool kids when we chose to not dance dirty at the school dances or when we went to dances with big groups instead of individual couples. I was just thinking of the time we planned the "after party" for Winterfest out at your Grandparents pond. Ice skating! It was such an amazing idea! Those boys still have no idea what hit them :) And when we stayed up late on the choir trip hopped up on licorice and starburst singing "Fish heads fish heads rolly polly fish heads..." my personal favorite memory and a total testament to how amazingly strong we are was when the clutch went out in your little ford ranger on the way back from a Sounds performance. We weren't afraid to hop out and push that sucker down Patterson in our sequins dresses and high heeled shoes!


I love the fact that no matter where we are in life we still can connect and pick up where we left off, even if it's been months and months since we've seen or talked to each other. It means so much to me. I will never be able to say enough "thank you's" for what you've done for me as a friend. When I told you that Jon and I were ready to go through the temple you were so excited for us. I was so excited to make you as proud of me as I am of you. The fact that you flew from Alabama to be with us on our temple date means more than you will ever know. I know that I can always depend on you, and I really hope that you know you can always depend on me. I love you!


Always,
Kimmy Lou

http://youtu.be/Rj4lg5_dO2k I was trying to put this video in the blog but for some reason it wont upload. Boo.... check it out anyway!

To My Mom

Mom,
I sort of missed the mark for Mother's Day this year with everything that has been happening lately. But I wanted you to know what you mean to me, every day, not just on Mother's Day.

I am so lucky to be your daughter. There are so many people in this world that are so lost when it comes to who they are and what they are here for. You have never let me forget that I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father, and that there is NOTHING I can do that will make him love me less. Thank you, mom for teaching me the Gospel and never giving up on me. It is by far the best gift I have ever been given.

Your quiet strength and testimony has held this family together for so many years. As each of us has exercised the right of our agency, you have sat quietly close by willing to offer the support we need when things seem to fall apart. I know that there have been times that you have felt that you have failed as a Mother because of the choices we have made. I want you to know that NOT ONCE have you ever failed us. You have been the most amazing example of what a mother should be. Every single time I get upset or frustrated with my kids I try to stop myself and think of how you would have handled the situation. I'm sure there were times when you wanted to strangle us and scream until you lost your voice.....but you never did. You always kept your cool. You make me a better mother through your example.

As an adult I appreciate that you are still willing to pull me into your arms and hug me to make the scary things go away. To this day being in your arms makes me feel so much better. Your hugs are healing and your words are always wise and never selfish. I remember the times when Jon and I were struggling and I would call you looking for a shoulder to cry on. You have an amazing way of making me feel heard but also helping me to realize how ridiculous I am being. You never judged my husband and always helped me to try to see things from his point of view. You don't know how much that means to us as a couple. He knows that I can go to you to vent, but that you would never speak bad about him. Not only are you an amazing mom, you are an amazing mother in law. From the moment you met Zoey she was never your step-grand daughter.... she was always just your grand daughter. Thank you for always loving her like all of your other grandkids.

I love you, mom. You are the most amazing person I know. I want to be just like you in every way. Thank you for all of the little and not so little things you do for me.

Love You for Eternity,
Kippy Snacks

Dear Satan.....

Dear Satan,

Just wanted to send you a quick email to let you know that I know you're upset and I understand why you're trying to lash out at us. We've been working really hard lately to live righteously and just when things start to get super duper awesome for us, you decide you can't take it anymore. You just HAD to throw a hitch in our giddy up, or try to at least.

Well, here's the deal..... it didn't work. Not even close. The day you kept us crazy busy and let us get distracted enough to cause that little kitchen fire, it only brought us closer to our Heavenly Father. We immediately knelt and thanked our Heavenly Father for keeping us all safe and to give us strength to rely on our friends and family through this hard time. He is stronger than you. We believe more in His truth and promises than we do in your lies and fear. Our family and friends have reached out to us and gave us so much love and support. You didn't win this one, Diablo. Not this time :)

Insincerely Yours,
The Stanley's

P.S. Not to rub it in or anything, but we have a meeting with the Stake President on April 13th for our temple recommend interviews.... I'm sure you'll probably try to stop us again... all I have to say is "Bring it on!" With our Heavenly Father's help we can take you on any day.

Lost Too Soon

Before I begin my posts- I want to give credit to the amazing song on this blog tonight. Written and performed by my friend Matt Griffith. I believe that music has the ability to heal. Thank you, Matt, for writing the most beautiful music. It really does help me to heal.

Dear Loreen,
How is it that we often find the courage and motivation to say the things we want to say after it's too late to say them? I'm incredibly regretful that I never took the opportunity to tell you what you mean to me. There were so many times in my life that you were just like a mother to me. I was always welcome in your home and have some of the best memories of sitting at your kitchen table playing games with you and your boys. So many memories of your laugh and good cheer as you styled my hair. I always left your little room feeling so beautiful and happy. You were always so easy to talk to. I could come and see you after months and months and we would just pick up right where we left off. I will NEVER forget the way you would get up and sing "boom chicka boom" every year at girls camp. You are a Junction Stake girls camp legend.

When my sister called me today and told me of your passing I completely lost it. It's hard to remember that Heavenly Father has a plan for us all when something as sudden and unexpected as this happens. You have been taken from us for a reason. Our Father in Heaven has bigger and better plans for you. But the biggest part of me is still selfish. I think of your husband who has lost his sweet companion too early. I think of your youngest boys who are still in high school and serving their mission. I think of your son and his wife who are waiting to welcome a new baby into the family. It overwhelms my heart with sadness. I know that you must be up there hugging and loving that little baby before she comes down to meet her parents.

I love you and your family so much, Loreen. You have meant so much to me throughout my life. You will be missed by so many. Until we meet again, sweet friend.

Missing You Already,
Kim



Grandpa,
13 years ago tomorrow you left this world. I still think about you every day. I miss you so much. I miss walking into the kitchen and seeing you walk around the corner with your bright white socks, plaid dress shirt with pearl button covers, and hearing you say "Heeey, babe. Where's my hug?" I miss sitting on your lap and you giving me the green starlight mints or lifesavers that you always tucked away in your shirt pocket. I miss your big black boots that you kept at the top of the stairs by your kitchen door, the ones you would wear when you would walk the irrigation ditches every day. Most of all I miss your smile. The genuine ear to ear grin you would always give us when we came to visit.

I hate that I can't remember the last thing you said to me. When you got sick, everyone told me that you would be fine. I was scared, but I believed them. I thought you were going to get better and that I would get to see you at the farm again. The last time I saw you, you were almost gone. You were connected to every kind of machine possible and "sleeping". Mom and Dad told me that I needed to come in and say goodbye to you. I don't even know if you heard that last thing I said to you, and that kills me. You are my hero. The most amazing man I've ever known. You did absolutely anything for absolutely anyone who needed it. The perfect definition of service.

Out of all the things I regret about your passing, I regret you not getting to meet my husband the most. I tell him stories about you all the time. He loves you and he hasn't even met you. My kids would love you. They all have your big blue eyes that you've passed down to us all. I wish you were still here. I wish this was one bad dream and I would wake up and be seeing you at Easter. I know I'll get to see you again, I know the blessings of Eternal families. It makes it a little easier, but it still hurts. There is still a hole in my heart that will not be filled until you wrap your arms around me again.

I miss you. Dad misses you. We all do. I know you're serving your heart out up in Heaven. Every time I mess up I wonder if you're watching. I don't ever want to disappoint you. I hope I make you proud. I love you.

Missing you so much,
Kim

My Sweet Valentine

My amazingly handsome and sweet husband,

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and I know you may be a little disappointed with the way things turned out, but I wanted you to know that I think it was one of our best yet. I remember the first Valentine's Day we spent together 6 years ago. You and I spent a romantic evening on the golf course with the most AMAZING food. Then there was the year we spent on the floor of our brand new house, eating a pizza while we emptied boxes. We had spent all of our money moving our little family out of the ghetto after a too close incident with a drive by shooting. All we could afford was a pizza. Then there was this year. I know you had the most amazing trip planned for us, and I know how badly it hurt you to have to cancel when we ended up spending those funds to pay off an old bill. But I want you to know, that this Valentine's Day, I felt more love than I have ever possibly felt in my whole life.

After getting up at 2:30 in the morning and spending nearly 12 hours working your butt off to put food on the table and a roof over our head, you rushed to be by my side. I know you were exhausted, but you went on to unload 1600 boxes of Girl Scout cookies from the van and car into a cafeteria. THEN, you helped me sort them into 12 different orders, and loaded each one of those orders into parents vehicles. I have to admit, I was happy to get the help. But it wasn't until my mom pointed out what you had done, that I finally realized just how amazing you are.

Even though it was getting late, and you were tired, you continued to put all of us first. You hopped in the shower and we were off to a dinner with the kids. Hot wings! Not exactly what we had in mind for a romantic dinner, but it was absolutely perfect. You then wanted to make sure that the kids knew how much we love them... at almost 9 o clock at night you rushed to the store to get them the pillow pets they've been drooling over for the last 6 months. Not to mention taking the time to write me the most beautiful and touching message inside my Valentine's Day card. By the time you made it to bed it was nearly 11pm. Only to have to wake up at 8:30 in the morning and drive overnight to Salt Lake.... all because you love us.

I want you to know how much I love you. I have been so incredibly blessed to be your wife for the last 6 years. We've gone through so much, and I feel closer to you now then ever before. Every bump along the road has made us who we are today. Thank you so much for putting so much work into this marriage and never giving up on us. I cannot wait until we able to seal our family together for all time and eternity. You mean the world to me. I love you from the very depths of my soul.

Your Undeserving and loving wife,
Kim

Sick Babies, Sound Effects, and Wiggly Teeth

Little Tanner B,

My sweet baby boy, my heart is aching right now because you are so sick. All of us have had coughs and the sniffles this week and now you have it too. It's hit you particularly hard today. You've had a fever since you woke up and all you want to do is cuddle with mama. I'm certainly not complaining about all the cuddle time you've given me, I just wish it was on better terms. Even when you're sick I can still see your sweet little personality peeking through. You still smile when I tickle your feet, and you're still incredibly jealous of anyone or anything that takes mommy's attention away. Just the other day Gavin was feeling a little sad and wanted to be held. You were playing with your toys just outside the door and once you caught glimpse of Bro Bro sitting in your mommy's lap you started whining and crawled over to the side of the bed begging to get picked up. It's not just brother that you're jealous of... mommy's phone, the wii, the computer mouse. If mommy's looking at anything but you, it better get out of the way! You sure do love your mommy and I love you so much. You brighten my day, every day. I hope you feel better soon my little Tanny B. Sleep well.

Gavy Pants,

God knew what he was doing when he put you in this family. You bring so much laughter and fun into this house. Every day you say or do something that makes everyone crack up. Right now you're busy playing Lego's in the living room, complete with the most amazing sound effects. You sure do love to make noise. The other night after I put you to bed I heard you making explosion noises and assumed you were still awake and playing with your toys. I crept into your room to tell you to go to sleep and there you were, lying fast asleep. You play hard, even in your dreams! I hope you never lose your imagination. I hope you always find ways to make life more exciting and fun! You make me so happy. Even when I get frustrated and grouchy, you always want to "snuggle wuggle" and it always makes the grouchies go away. Thank you for being such a good boy. I love you so much!

Miss Zoey Bagoey,

Today was your first day back at school in almost two weeks. You've been sick with strep throat and then you caught a nasty cold/flu. Your cough is still pretty gnarly but it was your turn to bring snack to school and I should have known you wouldn't miss school today for the world. You've had a rough couple of weeks paying attention in school. Your teacher has sent you home with yellow and red light warnings a few times. It really has surprised us. You've always been so well behaved and we tend to overreact a little when you do misbehave. At first I said that you were grounded... but after we thought about it I decided we needed to reward the good more than punishing the not so good. So I told you if you had a whole week of green days I would take you to get your nails painted on Friday. Your eyes got so big and you were so excited. I'm pretty confident we'll see all greens when you get your report from your teacher on Friday. We are so blessed to have you as our daughter, Zo. You're such a good girl. You hardly ever misbehave and always do what you're told. How did we get so lucky? Right now you are PATIENTLY awaiting your first tooth to wiggle out. Actually, you have four whole loose teeth and your fingers are almost ALWAYS in your mouth. I can't wait to see you with your four front teeth missing. You'll be so cute! I love you, Zoey! I'm so glad that you're my daughter.

Hugs and Kisses,
Mommy